If translated to English from the Sanskrit language, Hastmelap means ‘the joining of hands’. It is sometimes lumped up with the Kanyadaan ceremony, but they are two distinct rites. During Hastmelap, the couple stand before the agni (fire) which was lit during the Kanyadaan, and in the presence of the fire Lord, Agni Devta, they join their hands to show the commencement of their marital union. The groom places his right hand in the bride’s right hand and the groom’s sister or mother ties the edges of the couple’s scarves in a literal act of tying the knot. After the joining, the couple make promises to be kind and affectionate to each other’s families. They also promise to treat other people respectfully, with love, and compassionately.
The Hastmelap can be considered as the equivalent of the exchange of vows in western marriage cultures. It is during this part of the wedding ceremony that the couple tell each other what they expect from their married life. The bride requests the groom’s support, love and acceptance so they can live peacefully and in prosperity while the groom asks the bride to accept him and be behind him in all his plans and activities. After the expectations are communicated, the couple then exchange vows to stay committed to each other forever, and they seek the blessings of the Gods upon their union.
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